Redefining More - The Narrative Shift To Change Everything
I have a confession to make.
I’m driven by the urge to provoke people. To nudge you to think again and think deeper, to turn matters on their heads and see if something is missing that we haven’t yet thought about. To shift the narratives. And explore new possibilities forward.
Like with the notion of more.
In climate circles, we like to look down on the concept of more and paint it as the source of all evil, the starting point to what got us into the mess we’re in today. And true, it is the need for ‘more more more’ that has caused the systems we live by. Systems in which innocent life is exploited for the pleasure of others, and ecosystems have to sacrifice for materialism to carry on.
And certainly, we don’t need more stuff. My kids don’t need more toys (although people love to keep them coming), and my wardrobe doesn’t need more clothes. The fashion industry could come to a full stop tomorrow, and we’d still be set for years to come: We have enough clothes on Earth to dress the next six generations!!! (Source: 5Gyres)
But here’s the caveat — the push for less doesn’t drive people.
Psychologically, we’re wired to get activated by things that can bring us a reward, and stay away from information portraying danger or the possibility of a loss.
So if the goal is to do less of something, even if that less ultimately brings you a richer life, your brain will read it as a sacrifice. And it’s darn hard to act upon a sacrifice, especially if your goal is to feel happy, rich, and abundant.
So, with that said, let’s redefine rich. Let’s shift the narrative.
Being Here
I was outside taking a short morning stroll with my now five-month-old baby. The rain had just come to a stop, birds were singing from the tree tops, and mist was hanging in the air. Lucas couldn’t stop turning his head to all the various noises, hungry for impressions and curious about life. As we walked closer to a bush covered in raindrops, his excitement grew so much that he began to blow bubbles (for this, we call him Bubbles). He started talking to the branches, and my whole heart smiled.
The moment was magical, and I realized nothing could make me feel more abundant. It was a Monday morning. Nothing extraordinary exciting was on my calendar. There were no big “wins” to celebrate or other signs of recognition and accomplishments. In my dad’s old striped T-shirt and Birkenstocks that have lasted me several years, I was far from fashionable. It was just me, my son, and our small little world.
Yet, I felt so incredibly rich and successful. This, I thought, is the purpose of life.
I know you can recall a moment like this and understand exactly what I’m talking about. Yet it is so easy to get caught in the noise and distractions. I have experienced it enough recently, so I know the short answer for happiness is to be truly present in each given moment, yet the urge to check my phone or do something else “important” creeps in.
I’m multitasking with my baby.
Although I might be able to change a diaper, even coo funny noises as I do so, and simultaneously look down at my phone next to the changing table, the loss of multitasking is still there.
As the brain switches tasks, so does my focus, and the depth of the moment is lost. With that, the richness of that moment is lost as well.
Don’t blink, they say, or you’ll miss these moments. Well, I’d like to give that saying an update: Don’t look at your phone!
So when I strive for more in life, I don’t necessarily mean more stuff. I don’t even mean more money, although I have healed the part of myself that used to believe having money is bad.
What I mean is MORE. OF. EXACTLY. THIS.
More of each moment! More of life!
Aaah, it is so hard to explain, isn’t it? It’s the simplest, most profound thing in the world, and we talk about it so much it’s become clichè, yet the answers to all our desperate whispers are right there.
Presence.
Of being fully here. Of devouring each moment to its fullest.
My mom was recently visiting from Sweden and spent three weeks in our spare bedroom. One afternoon, she went upstairs to fetch my daughter, who had woken up from her nap, and I stayed on the floor in our living room, waiting. It was a rare gift to have some extra time in my day, so I simply sat there and took in the room. I looked at the mismatched coffee cups on the wooden table, the late afternoon sun rays that hit the opposite wall, and the toys that spread sporadically across the floor.
At first, it was just a room in our busy house, and two coffee cups that my mom and I drank from a few minutes ago.
But then I dove deeper. I immersed myself in the here and now. I grasped with the reality that two coffee cups on the table meant that my mom — my mom — was upstairs talking to my daughter, that she was here. Like a wave from the ocean, warmth hit me and spread through my body. I could almost feel my fingers tingle, and if someone had been around to witness it, I’m sure there was now a new spark to my eyes.
There was presence. And I felt it. And it made me feel richer than rich.
This was life.
A New Narrative: More, Please!
When I say we must shift the narrative on more, I mean that we must redefine what it is we actually want more of.
The example I like to give is that instead of saying you should eat less meat, tell yourself you want to eat more plant-based foods.
The outcome is the same (less meat), but the invitation is so different.
Instead of the responsibility to cut down, which the brain will read as sacrifice and the potential of a loss, we get to focus on the opportunity to change our ways; to participate in the act of creating norms and cultures that are different, and maybe even better.
We get to create a new kind of ‘more’.
This is one of the three most important narrative shifts I talk about: To shift from responsibility to opportunity.
And once we make this shift, we naturally invite ourselves to get excited, even amidst uncertainty and climate change. Because when you recognize your opportunity to co-create a different kind of world, you realize what an amazing time it actually is to be alive.
